You are not alone
The suicide rate in 2023 was 14.21 per 100,000 nationwide, with 15-24 year olds having a rate of 15.15 per 100,000. In Georgia, 1,624 people committed suicide in 2022, and thousands more attempted. 7,071 people in Georgia were medically treated after attempting suicide in 2022. In 2022, there were 1.6 million suicide attempts. It is estimated one out of every 25 suicide attempts is successful.
During COVID-19, mental illnesses spiked. Covid had a major impact in depression rates in teenagers 12-17 years old. In 2017, 13% of U.S. teens reported experiencing at least one major depressive episode in the past year. While in 2024, 18.1% of teenagers in the U.S. reported having at least one major depressive episode. Within the four years of the lockdown, the depression rate had an increase of 5.1%.
22% of high school students, in a survey done in 2021, had seriously considered suicide within the past year, up from 16% in 2011. In Athens-Clarke County there were 25 suicides in 2022. One survivor includes Henry who was an eighth grade student when it started, 13 years old. Henry is a pseudonym for another student, but his story is true.
One day Henry was in class, and suddenly it was like he forgot how to breathe. His heart was pounding so hard he thought it was coming out of his chest. His body was shaking. He didn’t know what to do and what was going to help. It wouldn’t stop. His first panic attack.
He didn’t want to tell anyone. He didn’t want people to think that he was weak. He didn’t think he deserved help. He thought he deserved to suffer. He believed that he deserved all the pain that he had. Because of that, he didn’t reach out. No one knew, so no one could help.
Panic attacks led to thinking that life was pointless and that everyone would be happier if he was gone. He thought that his birth was a mistake. That his purpose in life was to just die. That he didn’t matter.
Suicidal thoughts turned into cutting himself to feel some sort of pain. He was numb. He needed some sort of release. Cutting didn’t help. He would cut and hate himself more. No one noticed.
Henry’s thoughts got worse. He started planning how he was going to do it. He picked a date and time. He wanted to take a knife from his kitchen and end it there. Simple. Easy. He couldn’t wait for the day to come. He wanted the pain and misery to stop.
Every day was the same monstrosity: wake up, get ready for school, put a smile on, act like everything was perfectly fine, go home, do homework and hang out with his family. The only thing he didn’t dread was going to his room.
Everything happened in his room: both his safe haven and his nightmare. The bright green color of the walls reminded him of his childhood. He wished he could go back and tell himself to reach out or tell himself not to care. He wished, he wished, he wished. He can’t change the past. He’s stuck in the present, in this room. The blood stains on his bed sheets. The blade in the bedside drawer. The bandages always ready under his bed.
He wrote letters to his family and friends. This wasn’t their fault. They couldn’t have done anything to stop it. He loved them. He just thought he didn’t matter. The world would still spin if he was gone, right?
He just wanted the pain to end. No one knew. He spent more time in his room, with his mind. His mind ran his life. It would go 100 miles per hour on different routes. He was too loud and annoying. All his friends were fake. His family would be okay if they lost him. He didn’t matter. His mind never slept.
The date comes. He goes to school and acts like it was a normal day. It wasn’t. No one knows that if it worked out he wouldn’t be there tomorrow. He keeps acting. The day goes slowly. He just wants to get home. When the school day ends he makes sure to tell his friends goodbye.
He goes home. He cleans his room. He spends time with his family before they leave to go to a party. He tells his parents and sisters goodbye. They don’t know that could’ve been their last time saying ‘I love you.’
He waits to make sure they don’t come back. It’s time. He thinks he would be happier. He’s been waiting for this moment. Why wasn’t he happier?
He returns to his room and sets out the letters. Everything is ready. He waits two minutes. A lot can happen in two minutes. Someone can text him to check up. His family can come back. Nothing happens. He goes back to the kitchen. He grabs the knife. Ding. His phone.
His best friend texts him. Henry sobs. Why is he doing this? This isn’t right. How could he leave his best friend? How could he leave his family?
He drops the knife. He hears it rattle on the ground. He can’t do it. He doesn’t know if that makes him weak and cowardly or if it makes him brave. He thinks that if he was just a little bit braver, then he would have done it that day.
The aftermath was the worst. Every single day he thought about that moment. He wished he would have done it. The pain never stopped. He needed help. He needed someone to talk to.
He doesn’t remember the first person he told. All he remembers is how he felt. He thought he couldn’t tell his parents. How was he supposed to tell them that their only son wanted to kill himself? That he didn’t feel loved?
Two years later, Henry realizes he has people who he can reach out to for help. Fortunately for other people like Henry, there are different resources that can be supportive. There are school counselors, hotlines, family, friends, etc.
This is just what Henry, one teenager, went through. In 2022, there were 1.6 million reported suicide attempts. In 2023, there were 49,300 suicide deaths reported. Suicide is deadly but silent. Most of the time you never know that someone is going to attempt it—until they do.
Check on your friends. You never know what is going on inside of someone’s mind. If you are thinking about taking your life, text/call/chat 988. Don’t become another statistic.
